


To Be Cared For

by bluevarient



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Sweetheart, Caring Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Logic | Logan Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, M/M, No beta we duck out like virgil, Touch-Starved Logic | Logan Sanders, but its not specifically addressed, can be seen as romantic or just platonic, he gets one don't worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28901328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluevarient/pseuds/bluevarient
Summary: Logan is exhausted and dealing with cognitive distortions surrounding his worth. Virgil shows him he cares.OrLogan overworks himself: a three-part mini-opera// rating because Patton’s not around to watch Virgil’s language
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 12
Kudos: 111





	To Be Cared For

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so uh... this is my first time writing fanfic ever. I hope it's good! I'm relatively new to this fandom so I apologize if its a little ooc.

Logan wasn’t sure what time it was, and that was unusual.

Logan liked having a schedule. He always knew what time it was and what he needed to be doing in order to stay on track. It was methodical, calming even, to always know exactly where he needed to be and when. But that had all gone out the window when Roman had completely rewritten the next video’s script.

Weeks, no, months of Logan’s meticulous planning, abruptly derailed by a sudden spark from the creative side. Logan wasn’t angry at him, he couldn’t be- creativity was spontaneous, it was in Roman’s nature. But he’d be lying if he said the unexpected detour hadn’t thrown his mind for a loop.

To get the next video out on time, Logan needed to rework all the scheduling he’d just finished. That was a lot of work to get done in such a short time frame, but he refused to even think about resting until it was done. Rest could not be worked into the schedule until the schedule itself was complete. 

And that’s how he ended up here, brain so foggy that time had been lost to him. How long had he been hunched over his desk with the painfully bright light of his laptop burning itself into his retinas? A couple hours? A little longer? The sharp pain in his shoulders pointed towards a more worrying answer. 

Coffee. That word rang out through his exhaustion like a lighthouse in a heavy storm. That’s what he needed. He could slip down to the kitchen for a couple of minutes, ask for the time, maybe heat up some of those leftovers from the dinner that he had declined earlier, and get back to work. Yes, that would be satisfactory.

Logan slowly pried himself from his chair and shut his laptop, hissing at the way his shoulders protested when he stretched. He really needed to get better at improving his posture if he didn’t want lasting health issues. Running a hand through his hair to smooth out the worst of it, Logan walked down the dark hall, down the stairs, and into the living room.

Hm. It seems he had been working a little later than he suspected.

Instead of seeing the rest of the sides lounging on the couch, maybe finishing up dinner or watching a movie, the commons were empty and the lights long turned off. It was then that Logan realized just how dark it was beyond the windows. After fumbling for the light switch in the kitchen, he was forced to meet the clock informing him that it was a little past three in the morning. Yes, a little later indeed.

But that was what he should have expected. Scheduling was a fickle thing, and it wasn’t unlike Logan to get lost in his work. All the cost of being Logic.

Logan dug around the pantry until he uncovered the coffee grounds and started up the coffee maker, absentmindedly rubbing at his eyes. He knew coffee this late at night was bad for his health, but it would keep him awake. He just had to finish that schedule. 

As he waited for the cup of liquid energy to fill, he could feel his conscious teetering between awareness and fatigue. His eyelids felt like ten ton weights and he caught them slowly slipping closed more than once, having to shake his head like clearing an etch-a-sketch to come back to his senses. The coffee could not finish soon enough.

Just as he was beginning to lean against the counter just to stop from collapsing on the spot, he heard the sound of footsteps slowly descending the stairs. He was shocked back into awareness as the second set of overhead lights turned on and assaulted his senses so brightly that squinting barely helped. 

“Logan?”

Ah, Virgil. That would make sense. Out of all the other sides, Virgil’s sleep schedule was the most sporadic. While he had been sleeping much better since he had been accepted, he was no stranger to being awake at ungodly hours of the night. Well, that made two of them.

“Greetings, Virgil,” Logan managed, cringing at the way his words came out slightly slurred with exhaustion, “What are you doing up at this hour?”

“I should be asking you,” Virgil eyed him suspiciously, making his way to the cupboard to grab a mug, “It’s late. You’re not one to mess with your… what did you say it was called? Circadian rhythm?”

“My Circadian rhythm is fine, thank you very much,” Logan retorted, “I’ve just been working on a couple of things. You also failed to answer my question.”

“Cool it, Specs, late night for me too,” Virgil shuffled around him and stood next to the coffee maker, “Came down to make myself some coffee, but it looks like someone beat me to it.”

Logan hummed in agreement, exhaustion preventing him from doing much more. As soon as the schedule was finished he could collapse into bed, but not yet. Without the schedule, nothing would get done. If nothing got done, the video wouldn’t get finished on time. If the video didn’t get finished on time, the fans would be disappointed and Thomas would get upset with himself and the filming for the next video would be pushed back and everything would be a disaster and it would all be Logan’s fault-

“Logan?”

Logan snapped his eyes open. When had they closed? When had he started leaning so heavily against the counter? When had Virgil gotten so close?

“Lo, is everything alright? You look more anxious than I am, and that’s saying something.”

Logan regained control of his words, “Yes! Yes, I’m quite well, thank you Virgil. Just a bit tired, that's all.”

Virgil eyed Logan again, that telltale glare that said _I’m reading you like an open book_ that the other sides had begun to recognize. Something he had picked up from his time with deceit, no doubt. Though the snake was the master of recognizing lies, Virgil’s perceptive eye and understanding of body language made him a close second. If Virgil noticed that something was off, he would not back down until he knew exactly what was up.

Logan paled. What was he supposed to say? That he was tired? That he was stressed? That he was emotional? No, Virgil didn’t deserve to have Logan’s issues piled upon his already hefty pile of things to worry about. He was being nonsensical, he needed to get back to work.

Just as Logan began to feel uncomfortable under the intensity of Virgil's stare, the coffee finished.

“I assure you, Virgil, everything is alright,” Logan supplied, reaching for the coffee carafe to fill his mug.

Virgil intercepted him, standing between Logan and his only hope for staying awake past the next fifteen minutes, “Mm, no, I don’t think that’s the truth. Something’s bothering you.”

“There’s nothing-”

“Spill it. Now.”

Logan huffed, glaring up at the anxious side. Though they were all basically twins, they did have their subtle differences. Roman was more broad shouldered, Patton had a gentle dusting of freckles across his nose, Logan’s features were slightly sharper, and Virgil, well, Virgil was on the tall side. Coming up just a few inches above Logan, it wasn’t much, but Virgil loved to use it to his advantage when he could. Now, staring daggers at Logan, was one of those occasions. He would not be letting Logan go until he got the information he wanted out of him. Fantastic.

Well, better give him something to work with. 

“Nothing is causing me significant distress, I promise you. I am simply…” the logical trait trailed off, his tired mind floundering for the words, “...thrown off kilter, with the shift in plans regarding the next video.”

“You mean Princey’s overhaul of the whole script? Yeah, I can’t believe he pulled that either. Sometimes I wonder if he has any regard for the work the rest of us do.”

“Of course he does,” Logan chided, “he cares about what we do. He’s simply… erratic, with his creative process.”

“Erratic is an understatement,” Virgil laughed, some of the tension seeping from his shoulders, “And you’re right, I didn’t mean to come off as rude. He works just as hard as everybody else. I just wish he had as much respect for schedules as some of us.”

Logan chuckled, glad to see the Virgil was easing off. Better sooner than later, because every second of standing in the kitchen was making his knees feel weaker and weaker. Just as Logan thought Virgil would back away, his expression steeled again.

“Wait, you’re not still working on the schedule, are you?”

Logan cocked his head at the anxious side’s tone, confusion seeping into his voice, “Why? What else would I be working on? Have I overlooked a responsibility somehow?” Logan’s heart rate suddenly kicked up in his chest. Had he gotten so lost in the schedule that he’d completely forgotten about something more important? _Stupid, stupid stupid, look what you’ve done_ , “Oh, I hope I haven’t-”

“No, no, you’re not, calm down,” Virgil placated, though his voice was tinted with worry, “I- Logan, you’ve been working on the schedule since lunch today.”

Logan looked at him cluelessly.

Virgil’s expression went from baffled to distressed, “Lo… that's way too long to be working on one thing! You have to give yourself a break.”

“I don’t need a break-”

“Yes, yes you do.”

“I do not!” Virgil’s perseverance was only serving to get on Logan’s already worn nerves, “I assure you, I am getting my job done perfectly fine.”

“It’s not the schedule I’m worried about,” Virgil gestured towards him with exasperation, “You look one good push from falling over and falling asleep right here on the kitchen floor! I know I don’t have the right to criticize your sleeping habits, but I also know how lost in your work you can get and you can’t keep pushing yourself yourself like this! You have to stop-”

“No, I don’t,” Logan retorted, suddenly backing his voice with all the power left in him, “I have to finish this. It’s my job.”

“What is your job? Working yourself into a-”

“I am Logic!” Logan blurted out, thoughts suddenly pouring from his mouth unwarranted, “I am an idea, not a person , I cannot let hunger, not exhaustion, not anything human get in my way, this is my purpose! I have to work like a well-oiled machine, that's how logic works. I don’t need to rest, I don’t need to! This is why I exist. It is more important that I do my job than let my… let my nonsense needs get in the way!”

Logan exhaled, the sudden lightness that accompanied getting that off of his chest doing nothing to combat his exhaustion. Great, an emotional outburst, how embarrassing. So much for being logical. Logan braced himself for Virgil to berate him, or maybe laugh at him for being such a mess. He wouldn’t blame him.

But nothing came.

Virgil almost seemed frozen, just standing there saying nothing. Logan finally risked a glance up at his face and was surprised to see not annoyance or anger, but a heavy look of sheer concern, and something else unreadable. Pity, maybe? But that didn’t make any sense…

Before Logan could think too hard about it, the look disappeared and was replaced with a sharp look of determination.

Without saying a word, Virgil turned around, grabbed the coffee, promptly turning back to face Logan as he poured it down the sink.

“Virgil!”

“Nope,” he responded flatly, “You’re not having any coffee. You're overworking yourself. And we need to talk about all the bullshit that just came out of your mouth.”

Logan flinched at the language, “Vir-”

“Can it, Specs. Patton’s not here. And as long as you’re saying things like that, I reserve the right to respond with any choice words I see fit.”

Logan sputtered, completely lost as to what Virgil was trying to say, but he didn’t have time to ask before Virgil had grabbed a hold of his arm and sunk them both out to Logan’s room.

When they popped back up, papers that had been scattered all over the floor rose up and drifted around the room, making it suddenly painfully obvious how disjointed Logan had been for the past couple of hours. His room was a mess, corkboard overloaded with hundreds of notecards and walls covered in sticky notes containing aspects of the schedule that needed to be rewritten. Logan grimaced.

“I swear I don't live like this all the time,” he muttered, embarrassed.

“I know you don’t,” Virgil huffed, tone edging on upset, “That’s why I’m so worried.”

Virgil let go of Logan’s arm, walking along the side of his bed and picking up the notebooks and loose papers that were scattered across its sheets.

“Any specific place you want these? Your room can be dealt with tomorrow, but your bed needs to be cleared.”

Logan rubbed his eyes, the exhaustion suddenly weighing on him as he willed them to stay open, “Just set them on my nightstand. I’ll deal with them tomorrow.”

Virgil nodded and silently transferred the mess on the bed to the nightstand. Logan felt useless just standing there while Virgil cleaned his room, but the determined way at which Virgil went at it coupled with the harsh scowl plastered on his face made him pretty sure that Virgil wouldn’t let him help if he tried. 

Once his bed was cleared, Virgil turned back to him, “I’ll be right back, I need to grab a couple things from my room. I would have just brought you to my room but… I don’t think my room’s influence would help you at all right now. Be in pajamas by the time I get back.”

And with that, Virgil sunk out, leaving Logan standing in the middle of his silent room to try and figure out exactly what had just happened.

Was Virgil… worried about him? 

That sure is what it seemed like. But that didn’t make any sense. There was nothing to worry about. Yes, maybe he was a little overworked, but that was his job. He had to work this hard. The only reason he couldn’t is because of his own nonsense limitations that he shouldn’t even have.

Regardless, he knew better than to test Virgil when he was in a mood, so Logan willed his protesting body sluggishly into a pair of loose-fitting shorts and an oversized t-shirt he often slept in that was decorated with the periodic table across the front. It took Logan until he had finally pulled it on to realize that he’d accidentally put it on backwards in a tired haze, but for once he couldn't bring himself to care about appearances. 

He dropped himself unceremoniously onto the bed. He was so tired, and nothing was making any sense, and the schedule still wasn’t done-

Logan startled at the sound of knocking on his door, realizing that Virgil must have gotten back already. Had that been fast, or was time speeding by? Or had it been forever, and Logan hadn’t been aware enough to notice? “Come in.”

Virgil pushed the door open with his foot, his hands full of a blanket seemingly bundled around an assortment of other things. He turned back to Logan after pushing the door closed once more and deposited the load of stuff onto the foot of Logan’s bed.

Logan eyed the pile with confusion, “What’s all-”

“You’re stressed,” Virgil interrupted, “And I know telling you to ‘stop worrying’ won’t slow that ever running mind of yours, so I brought some stuff to help.”

“Virgil,” Logan sighed, the defeat in his voice enough to catch Virgil’s attention as he stopped assessing the blanket. Virgil didn’t understand, but that was okay. They both had two very different purposes in the mindscape, and he simply needed to be reminded that Logan’s was different, “I… I appreciate you being worried about me, I really do. But I don’t need help, this is just… I don’t need it. I understand where you’re coming from, but you and Roman and Patton- you are all emotional facets of Thomas’s mind. You need to take breaks and have mental health days because you guys feel so much but, I don’t do that. I’m logic. My purpose is defined by my ability to work flawlessly. I either work or I don’t. I appreciate this, but… I don’t need it. I shouldn’t need it. I… I don’t need this care.”

The room fell silent. For some reason, Logan couldn’t bring himself to look Virgil in the eye. He didn't know why, but saying that had hurt. It made no sense- it was the truth, it was only logical, but something deep down inside of him didn’t like that fact. Some very small and very hurt part of him longed for things he didn’t need, care he wasn’t required to get. He told that part to hush as his heart grew cold.

_“Falsehood.”_

Logan looked up at the sound of Virgil’s voice, eyes finally meeting his as the logical side’s catchphrase fell from his lips. Instead of seeing understanding, Logan startled at the amount of emotion behind them, a combination of disbelief, horror, anger, and that unreadable emotion from earlier, finally dawning upon Logan to be an overwhelming wall of protectiveness.

“I- pardon-”

“I said falsehood,” Virgil spat, circling around the bed to stand in front of Logan who, still sitting, was now towered over by the anxious side, “That is the least logical thing that has ever come out of your mouth I- Logan , do you really think like that? That… that just because you’re less oriented in emotion that you’re undeserving of care?”

Logan floundered, “I don’t need-”

“Yes, yes you do,” Virgil sighed, anger dying down into what it really was: concern. He shifted and sat down next to Logan, reaching out in a silent invitation to hold his hands. Logan complied, resting his hands in Virgil’s as he pulled them into his lap. Logan would never admit how effective the simple contact was at quieting his mind. 

Virgil continued, “Listen, I- just because you are logic does not mean you don’t have human needs just like the rest of us. Maybe your emotions aren’t as… intense, as the rest of ours, but that isn’t the point. Lo, you are more than just logic. You’re also Logan. Your purpose isn’t to work flawlessly, or whatever you’re trying to convince yourself, you’re not a machine. You’re your own person, or… figment, or whatever, you know what I’m saying. You have limitations, and needs, and one of those needs is to be cared for. By yourself and by others.”

Logan wanted to argue. He wanted to tell Virgil why he was wrong, but… he couldn’t. He had no rebuttal. What Virgil said made sense, more sense than the conclusion Logan had come to. And for once, Logan had nothing to say.

“What I’m trying to tell you,” Virgil said, thumbs rubbing across the backs of Logan’s hands so delicately it sent shivers up his shoulders, “Is that you need care. You need to practice self care, to let yourself sleep and eat and feel freely, but also to let us care for you. We love you, Logan, and your worth to us is not defined by your ability to make some stupid schedule, or your ability to work at all. You are a member of our family, and nothing will ever change that.”

The cold in his heart slowly warmed as the meaning of those words and the sincerity in Virgil’s tone set in. They loved him. Not his work, not his purpose- him. And maybe… maybe needing care was okay, too.

“Okay,” Logan nodded, voice barely a whisper.

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” Logan confirmed, sending a watery smile up at Virgil, his smile slowly being returned, “I… I think I understand. I am not without a need for care, I’ve simply been… ignoring it. Denying its existence. And denying something doesn’t nullify it’s truth. I apologize, I have been foolish…”

“Don’t apologize, Lo,” Virgil hushed, pulling Logan to lean against his side, “It’s okay. Everything’s okay. I got you.”

The gentle tone in which Virgil spoke was the final crack that broke the walls around Logan’s heart. His breath hitched as his eyes filled with tears threatening to spill over.

“It’s alright,” Virgil soothed, pulling Logan all the way into his lap and bringing his head to his shoulder, wrapping him up in a gentle hug, “Let yourself feel, Lo. it’s okay. I’m here.”

The dam broke. Logan cried into Virgil’s shoulder, releasing all the pent up emotion he had denied ever having in a stream of tears and sobs he felt would never end. He didn’t even have the energy to feel embarrassed, his exhaustion willing him to finally just feel . 

Virgil didn’t let go. His embrace never even loosened. As Logan cried his hands rubbed soothingly up and down the logical side’s spine, then wandered up into his tangled hair and scratched gentle nails across his scalp. He rocked, just slightly, back and forth and back and forth in a way that was indescribably comforting, like they were standing in a gentle blowing breeze. Even as Logan’s sobs finally began to quiet, Virgil still held on with the same protectiveness that made him feel so small and so loved. 

Eventually, Logan fell silent. If he had been exhausted before, he was officially one misstep away from passing out cold. Virgil knew this, and so he slightly pulled out of the embrace, hands reaching to gently grasp Logan’s hands again instead.

“You okay?”

Logan nodded, not trusting his voice as he wiped tear tracks from his face.

“Alright, to bed with you, then,” Virgil scolded and stood, tone entirely too soft and caring to be taken as anything other than playful, “If you’re lucky you’ll get a few good hours of sleep before Princey starts blasting Disney music at the crack of dawn.”

Logan chuckled, letting himself finally fall back onto the bed. The feeling was balm to his exhausted mind. 

Just as he reached to pull his covers over him, Virgil handed him the blanket he had come in with.

“It’s weighted,” he explained, passing the soft purple material over to the logical side, “Weighted stuff always helps me sleep better. I think it’ll help you tonight.”

Surely enough, the weight felt fantastic. The whole blanket swaddled him in a sort of protective pressure that reminded him of Virgil’s arms.

Just as he opened his mouth to thank him, Virgil was hooking something up on his bedside table.

“Diffuser,” he explained, “With lavender oil. This’ll help too.”

“Virgil, don’t you need all these things for yourself?”

“One night without them won’t kill me,” Virgil turned it on as the calming scent of lavender began to fill the room, “Besides, you need them more than I do. If you like any of this stuff you can probably ask Roman to conjure you up some of your own tomorrow. It’s no problem.”

Between the weighted blanket and the lavender, Logan had never felt so close to sleep. His consciousness was almost slipping away as Virgil stood up once more and walked to the end of the bed.

Virgil grabbed the last thing he’d come in with and came around the bed again, “Alright Specs, I’m gonna need to break even with you here. I know you don’t like being emotionally vulnerable with people, so here's me being emotionally vulnerable back.”

Virgil tossed something small and soft into Logan’s arms. Logan caught it, pulled it back, and looked at it to discover a very well loved purple spider stuffy.

“His name’s Webby,” Virgil gritted his teeth, “And you’re not allowed to say anything to the others. If word gets out that I still sleep with stuffed animals I’ll never live it down. But you need comfort tonight, and I know it's childish, but… Webby’s good for that.”

Logan smiled at the spider plushie, and then up at Virgil. Virgil’s embarrassed scour melted at the soft look in Logan’s eyes. 

“Thank you, Virgil,” he whispered, a couple of tears returning to his eyes, “It means… it means a lot.”

Virgil smiled at him, “That’s what you do for the people you care about.”

Logan’s eyes began to slip closed as he pulled the stuffie tighter against his chest. Just clinging to awareness, Logan heard the sound of his door opening again. Suddenly, he jolted back awake.

“Wait!”

Virgil paused, one foot out of the door. He turned back to Logan, a worried crease forming between his brows, “What’s wrong, is everything okay?”

“Don’t leave,” the words were spilling out before Logan could stop them, “I- please. Please stay.”

Virgil looked taken aback for a moment, and then softened, a small smile playing at his lips, “Sure thing, Specs.”

Logan heard his door close again and felt his bed dip with Virgil’s weight as the anxious side slipped under the covers behind him. Logan snuggled closer, way too far gone to worry about embarrassing himself as he slipped his arms around Virgil’s waist and buried his face in his chest.

Virgil, although momentarily startled, returned the embrace with the same soft protectiveness he’d held Logan with as he cried, burning his face into his hair and rubbing his hands along his back, “It’s okay. You’re okay. You can rest, now.”

Logan could no longer fight against the exhaustion, finally succumbing to sleep in Virgil’s comforting hold. The tension, the stress, and the worry he felt around the insignificant schedule evaporated under Virgil’s protective hold, leaving him weightless, calm, and cared for.

“Thank you, Virgil,” he whispered, as he slipped away into sleep, “I love you.”

Virgil smiled into his hair and squeezed him close, “Love you too, Lo."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!
> 
> Constructive criticism is always appreciated, but please be nice I'm trying so hard lmao.


End file.
